Why today sucks

there is some weird ass sound coming from my kitchen!!!! oh please please please, let it be a ghost and not a mouse.

and Angel! Your sugar is scaring me. You can't take care of your family if you don't take care of yourself. Do what you need to give yourself a sanity break each day.

i am doing my best with taking care of myself...i go to the drs every 2 weeks so i really dont have a choice. diabetes is just one of those things thats effected not only by food and insulin.....but physical excercise, stress, being sick with something else......everything really. most times i get it right and in the 8 years i have been diabetic thats the worst its ever been....but it IS bad. and very scary

13thAngel wrote:

sorry...this is all kinda heavy and certainly tmi for a message board.





and i had a sugar of 24 and thought i was going to die



and they say god doesnt give a person more than they can handle......i guess god knows me a lot better than i know myself

All my kids have provided parenting challenges and have made some bad choices, similar to those you describe. It's a rough road, but I suspect there aren't any better parents then you and Swamp. Just keep the faith. I know it's hard sometimes. We could have elected NOT to be parents and NOT have the eternal worry that comes with that job. I don't think we'd have wanted that for ourselves.

Queen's right...take care of yourself!

I have ANOTHER vile illness...I feel like shit and can't stop sniffling and coughing.

Hope you're a better and stronger person than I. I would have already fed your kid to the pigs. You know he may just be wired to act that way. Did he have good grades and politeness before? Is this a sudden change? Is he taking some unknown bullshit in school from other kids (acting bad and getting suspending to escape the people there isn't far fetched). And for all the goodness you can throw at him - it's crushing to know your real mom didn't want you, wouldn't pull her shit together to keep you and neither did your real dad or any other Bio family member. Has he started smoking pot or doing other stuff? Some people aren't able to handle that or effects them negatively. I have no real parenting advise - but usually the reason a person hates others and pushes everyone away is b/c they hate themselves. You have proof your skills work - there's Layne - so can't be what your doing or not doing - it must be out of your realm - physical, peers, pride even. . . a girl He was sent to you for a reason - this is where he really needs both of you, don't give up on him. He needs a direction and a focus - everyone needs something to give a shit about and miraculously things will fall into place behind it.

(we could send him to live with Watts dad, tho he may come back in a box )

and 24 Hope! jeezum crips! be careful please - we all want to keep you around

That sucks Hope. Maybe things will change with him.

If ya wanna pay for shipping, I could send him to my Granny or my Dad for a few days

( I know.. But figured that might trigger a hair bit of a smile )

thanks guys.... it helps a lot just to vent


and i got the dr to get me a script for glucogen......so if i ever have a bad one like that again rob can give me a shot

That's scary, Hope. We need you around! I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with your kids, sounds like you are doing everything imaginable to help them out though. Hopefully the doctor will get you the referral for the psychologist, that's the only advice I can give after everything you've tried. I have some experience trying to help someone through a cutting problem and getting him to a psychologist is the only thing I ever felt like I did that helped.

Just stay strong and show him that you're in it for good and nothing he can do will change it. And let us know of anything we can do to help

Oh my, Hope. I just wish I could be there and do something that helps, but I can't. Hang in there

13thAngel wrote:

so any ways.........
to pick up where i left off in the pics thread.......


i have 1 kid who seems to be excelling at everything and 1 kid ....not so much.
we try to be as supportive and loving as possible and it just doesnt seem to be enough.
we have tried keeping joes "bio" family involved ......and we have tried them not being involved.
we tried enforcing rules....we have tried giving in. rob and i have given him TONS of 1 on 1 time. he was in scouts but hes fucked that all up too.

we are totally at a loss as where to go from here. his grades are SHIT.....hes rude and disrespectful to everyone. its like hes given up too. we felt like we were past this shit but have found out we are not. its been about 3 months of pure bullshit and no end in sight.

i took him to the drs and its been 2 weeks and still no referral for the psychiatrist

we are fucken struggling.........
and Anne.....THAT would be why i havnt been around much. to smile and go on with the day seems forced most of the time. i want to run away and leave this mess for someone else but there is no one else. i would rather just read about y'alls lives than be in my own.

*squeezes 'angel&swamp in a bear hug and sings Stevie Ray Vaughan's Hug You Squeeze You*
Hang in there, 'angel! I know it's hard and I can't really give you any good advice. BUT I know how much your family is important for you, so I'm sure you, Rob, Layne AND Joe will go through this all and then your family will be stronger. I side with you, guys!

Anne....i thought looooong and hard about ur message yesterday.
i think u may be onto something.



i almost forget that joe is adopted sometimes. we treat him and feel about him the same as we do for layne. i forget about the "rejection" feelings that he must have and i always feel like we "make up for it" ....but really. we cant make up for something like that. not now or ever.


i am going to hug him 5 extra times a day. even if im mad at him. he just needs more love. i think i have been making this more complicaTED THAN IT IS. oops...caps...sorry. i know hugs arent the cure for everything but i do think its a great start in a right direction.


i love you all so much....really i do. thanks for just being here for us ...and giving ur support. it means the woild

13thAngel wrote:

I almost forget that joe is adopted sometimes. we treat him and feel about him the same as we do for layne. i forget about the "rejection" feelings that he must have and i always feel like we "make up for it" ....but really. we cant make up for something like that. not now or ever.


i am going to hug him 5 extra times a day. even if im mad at him. he just needs more love. i think i have been making this more complicaTED THAN IT IS. oops...caps...sorry. i know hugs arent the cure for everything but i do think its a great start in a right direction.

Awwwww - I agree with all this - poor Joe - he is really is probably subconsciously hitting out, and pushing the boundaries. I wonder if he thinks of his biological family much, and WHAT he thinks ...

All you can do is keep going, keep lovin the kid, and hope he settles down and sees what you, Rob and Layne are doing for him


Aunty Bogle x

the best way to get a misbehaving kid to stop misbehaving is to tell him if he doesn't chill....you will hug him in front of his school friends every morning and say "have a good day sweety pie"

you dont know joe....he would fucken LOVE that.

went to his school and sat in the back of the room and he just kept waving ...."theres my mum" completely oblivious to the fact that the REASON i was there was cuz he was misbehaving

^^^ See, he's proud of you that much!
Go ahead with the hug terapy, I'm sure it will work!

Got blocked in by my beloved chav neighbours this morning, who I have a hate/despise relationship with, managed to leave the tiniest fucking scratch on the car in front trying to get out, literally it was mostly dust and he's being a TOTAL cunt about it!!

I have taken photos just in case he tries to batter it up and blame it on me!

The car's a bloody mess anyhow cos it's one of the ones the guy next door is fixing up for someone - he can paint cars too, he's a mechanic/valet but he's all like 'oh I'll get a quote and it won't be cheap' so I've refused to pay and refused my insurance details because he's clearly just out to fuck me out of cash - he could fix it with a paint stick and a wash and he knows it!!!

He was over the road with a mate watching apparently, so he saw how slowly and carefully I was fucking moving trying to get out of the tiny space they'd blocked me into and he didn't stop me, didn't say oi that's a car I'm working on - no, he just wants to screw me over. Now I know why he's married to the vicious fat cunt next door, because he's one too! He actually came round my front door all aggressive and shit, then they were all out there slagging me off when I went to take pix - GOD I WANT TO MOVE!!!! CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT!!!!! Where's the fire breathing smilie!!!!

His fucking business makes a shit load of noise, he's always got a ton of cars parked out the front, as have my other next door neighbours, they use my place ALL THE TIME cos all the broken fucking cars they have take up their drives - ARGH!!!! SO FUCKIN MAD!!!

Have yall tried putting him to work doing physical labor when he acts out / misbehaves? sometimes that works out good. (Gets stuff done around the house too )

Have Rob pick up some post-hole diggers and mark some spots to be dug for fence posts


eyehatedthosewheneyewasaboy

renbolina wrote:

Got blocked in by my beloved chav neighbours this morning, who I have a hate/despise relationship with, managed to leave the tiniest fucking scratch on the car in front trying to get out, literally it was mostly dust and he's being a TOTAL cunt about it!!

I have taken photos just in case he tries to batter it up and blame it on me!

The car's a bloody mess anyhow cos it's one of the ones the guy next door is fixing up for someone - he can paint cars too, he's a mechanic/valet but he's all like 'oh I'll get a quote and it won't be cheap' so I've refused to pay and refused my insurance details because he's clearly just out to fuck me out of cash - he could fix it with a paint stick and a wash and he knows it!!!

He was over the road with a mate watching apparently, so he saw how slowly and carefully I was fucking moving trying to get out of the tiny space they'd blocked me into and he didn't stop me, didn't say oi that's a car I'm working on - no, he just wants to screw me over. Now I know why he's married to the vicious fat cunt next door, because he's one too! He actually came round my front door all aggressive and shit, then they were all out there slagging me off when I went to take pix - GOD I WANT TO MOVE!!!! CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT!!!!! Where's the fire breathing smilie!!!!

His fucking business makes a shit load of noise, he's always got a ton of cars parked out the front, as have my other next door neighbours, they use my place ALL THE TIME cos all the broken fucking cars they have take up their drives - ARGH!!!! SO FUCKIN MAD!!!

Chavs.. we got those here too. we just call em by another name. eyehate em.

renbolina wrote:

Got blocked in by my beloved chav neighbours this morning, who I have a hate/despise relationship with, managed to leave the tiniest fucking scratch on the car in front trying to get out, literally it was mostly dust and he's being a TOTAL cunt about it!!

I have taken photos just in case he tries to batter it up and blame it on me!

The car's a bloody mess anyhow cos it's one of the ones the guy next door is fixing up for someone - he can paint cars too, he's a mechanic/valet but he's all like 'oh I'll get a quote and it won't be cheap' so I've refused to pay and refused my insurance details because he's clearly just out to fuck me out of cash - he could fix it with a paint stick and a wash and he knows it!!!

He was over the road with a mate watching apparently, so he saw how slowly and carefully I was fucking moving trying to get out of the tiny space they'd blocked me into and he didn't stop me, didn't say oi that's a car I'm working on - no, he just wants to screw me over. Now I know why he's married to the vicious fat cunt next door, because he's one too! He actually came round my front door all aggressive and shit, then they were all out there slagging me off when I went to take pix - GOD I WANT TO MOVE!!!! CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT!!!!! Where's the fire breathing smilie!!!!

His fucking business makes a shit load of noise, he's always got a ton of cars parked out the front, as have my other next door neighbours, they use my place ALL THE TIME cos all the broken fucking cars they have take up their drives - ARGH!!!! SO FUCKIN MAD!!!

what you should do now that you have taken a picture of the small scratch....go and scratch his car to fuck

Nah, if he fucks me about I'm going to take photos of the huge, ugly, questionable and doubtless fire hazard chipboard garage he's built on the side of his house and send them to the local planning permission office. I'll bet he doesn't have permission for it. He'll have to knock it down. He needs to anyway, it's fricken awful!

Sic em Ren!


_________________________________________

13 - I think hugs go beyond a lot of meds. I was reflecting to my troubled youth and thought if someone had sat me down and asked what was wrong - even if it was someone I had respect for - I would never have been able to tell them anything, words would have cheapened what I felt inside - sometimes there are no words for the massive pain you carry and when you can't vent it out or put it into to words and it doesn't ease, it's simpler to replace it with physical pain - it can be seen, others can see it, the sensation temporarily distracts you from the pain inside or overrides it - you can control it - heal it - make it worse - get sympathy for it. Sometimes you are so caring that others problems weigh on you and you can't fix them or help and it turns to apathy - pushing stuff away so it won't hurt when they somehow hurt you. I thought of how you said how much he cried in school when Sak left last time - you have a wicked sensitive child there who seems to have a large heart. Aside from hugs - maybe he needs to know that if you guys go broke, you wouldn't give him away. If you got sick, he would not be sent away from you....hug therapy it does wonders, its something that goes a looooong way - gonna stick Joe in my prayers - I hope the docs can help too (though you and I know how that can go ) they should do some good and hopefully not just push pills on him.

Sounds like KILLA needs to roll to the desert to crack skulls once again

Stay strong Hope and keep puttin one foot in front of the other.

i give up...seriously.
i cant do it any more.
just got a call from the school....about the 6th time in the last 8 weeks.
he refuses to work, answer or communicate w the teacher at all. he refuses to do homework and then lies about it. she said hes rude and disrespectful. and she doesnt know what to do with him....well neither do i. i dont have a quick fucken fix...i dont have a fix at all.

hes lied to me 4 times since he got off the bus....in 1 hour.
i asked him what does he want. what will make him happy..... he needs to figure it out somehow.
i just dont know what to do

and if i thought for even a second that a skull cracken would work....i'd have already bought the plane ticket killa. but i dont think it will.....at this point i am thinking he needs a hospital or something